No Energy Vampires Allowed

by Jon Gordon
Pursuit, Summer 2007

Several years ago, I called my father to tell him that I was selling my restaurant to pursue a career as an author and speaker. His response: “What on earth are you going to do that for? That will never amount to anything. Why don’t you just focus on your restaurant?” Believe it or not, I didn’t get angry at him. I knew that he was just one of the many people I would have to face on my journey through life whom I call “energy vampires.” Those energy vampires don’t just exist in our families; they’re lurking in our businesses, social organizations, churches, and neighborhoods. They are real, they are everywhere, and they will suck the life out of our goals, dreams, and plans for success—if we let them.

Energy vampires don’t have fangs, but there are other ways to spot them. Here are just a few:

• Negative comments: Did I tell you how much I hate my life and work? Did I tell you what so and so did to me? Did I tell you why nothing goes right?

• Dream snatching: You can't do that. You’ll never succeed at that. Are you living in fantasy land? You should do this instead.

• Shrinking devices: What is wrong with you? Can’t you do anything right? Why did we hire you anyway?

• Team destruction: We’ll never make it. It’s Joe’s fault. Everyone here is clueless.

Often, the words are less harsh then stated above, but the results are the same. Realize that life is like a bus. How far you will go is determined by the people you surround yourself with on your ride. Once an energy vampire starts sucking the air out of your tires, it becomes difficult to move forward.  Don't let this happen. Create a positive and successful ride by following these simple road rules:

• Post an imaginary sign that says, “No energy vampires allowed.” Pete Carroll, football coach of the University of Southern California doesn’t allow negative energy in his locker room. He’s won two national championships with USC. You shouldn’t allow negative people on your bus either.

• Some people will get on your bus and some people won't. That's OK. Those that do were meant to get on. Those that don’t are meant to get on another bus or they would have ruined your ride. Don't take it personally. Just keep driving and focus your vision on the road ahead. If you waste your energy thinking about the people who didn't get on your bus, you’ll have less fuel to pick up the people who want to get on down the road.

• As you drive, keep adding the people who want to get on your bus. Eventually, you'll have a filled, standing-room-only bus with great energy.

• Drive at your own speed. Don't compare your progress or rate of success to other buses.

• Have fun and enjoy the ride. You only get one ride through life, so enjoy it. Your goal is to live young, have fun, and arrive at your final destination as late as possible with a smile on your face.

A few years after that not-so-positive discussion with my dad, I had another, quite different one. He called after my first appearance on NBC’s Today Show. “Your mother and I just watched you! Your book really made a difference in those people’s lives. We’re so proud of you. We always knew you could do it!” Inwardly, I had to laugh. He didn’t even remember being an energy vampire! As the drivers of our respective buses, we have the best seat and the best view of the road ahead. Passengers and casual observers can’t see what we see. They are limited by their own vision, doubts, and fears. They think that dreams were meant for others—not for people like you and me. But we know better and understand that every driver will be challenged on their journey. Every driver will encounter negativity, nay-sayers, roadblocks, flat tires, fear, and self-doubt. No one goes through life untested, but the answer to surmounting these challenges is positive energy. The ultimate rule for the road is that our vision, positive energy, enthusiasm, trust, and certainty must be greater than everyone else’s negativity, fear, and doubt. When we fuel our life and work with positive energy, we will surely enjoy the ride of our lives and keep the energy vampires off the bus or, even better, convert them to positive passengers!