By Alex Pabellón, CPA, CGMA

"I'm sorry that I haven't returned your calls," said Joanne with a heavy sigh. "My brother won’t be able to draw up the year-end financials. Things have not been good. See, he died. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. It’s not your problem. But you know he handled the finances. I don’t know what to do."

I was in shock. (Yes, this really happened, though the names have been changed.) I'd talked to Bart just a few months back. For years he'd been a great help to me getting the financials for the family business together for tax time. I didn't know what to say, but I did know that this year Joanne would not only need a little more help than usual from her accountant, but also needed a trusted friend.

Many of the things professionals do – prepare your taxes, show you house listings for sale, or walk you through the features of an antivirus program – have been commoditized by technology. We now expect services to be delivered cheaply and immediately, and we value privacy and anonymity. Yet, when something goes wrong we feel vulnerable or overwhelmed. We crave human interaction all over again.

Humans cooperate and collaborate with each other. We solve problems by discussing them with someone we trust and working together. When faced with our own vulnerability, personal relationships make us feel empowered and safe. Ironically, cultivating these relationships over time often requires an openness that might make us feel vulnerable, at least in the short run.

It was late in tax season that year, and I’d been hounding Joanne for the information I needed to finish her business tax return. She’s a proud business owner who works hard, doesn’t complain, and doesn’t want to be a bother. Sound familiar? How many of us take pride in our work and don’t want to burden anyone else with our problems?

It turns out Joanne was having a very, very difficult year. Her brother had handled all of the family business’s finances for years. It was a major undertaking to get the books in order. The business also came into some unexpected repairs on expensive equipment, so Joanne was attempting to obtain financing. Somehow, Joanne had resolved to figure all of that out and get me everything I needed. But on that day we spoke she was at her wits’ end. She picked up the phone reluctantly. Opening up about her difficulties wasn’t easy. I could hear the exhaustion and grief in her voice. She didn’t know how to continue once she shared that her brother died, and she was overwhelmed. So I shared my own story of the weeks before my mother died.

The conversation led to a few other brief calls over the course of several weeks. We filed extensions to allow for time to get her brother’s affairs in order. We provided bookkeeping and reporting assistance to get things ready for taxes. We set up consulting engagements and referrals to assist with business financing and personal financial planning. And sometimes we would just talk about the people close to us who we’ve lost and miss so much.

“Thanks, Alex, I appreciate it,” she said at the end of one of those conversations, with a tone of palpable relief. “You’re welcome…but I didn’t do anything today,” I said. “I know. But it’s always nice to talk to you. I feel better. And I know the accounting stuff’s in good hands too.”

The exchange reminded me of something my optometrist once told me as he was seeing me off for my biennial eye exam: “As always, it was good to see you. As a doctor, I like all my patients. But, you know, I’m also human. So, I can’t help it that I like some patients more than others.” That was his way of saying that he valued our professional friendship.

Below are Joanne’s tips on how clients can help cultivate a good relationship with their professional adviser:

• Ask your CPA for advice on how to make his or her job easier, especially when complex or unexpected issues come up during an engagement. It may be something as simple as having all the documentation ready and well-organized on a timely basis, or responding to inquiries promptly and thoroughly. Often, it’s the little things that make a client a pleasure to work with.
• Ask for additional guidance when needed. Some CPAs might not be able to give the same level of attention to every client, but you’ll never know if you don’t communicate that need up front. Many firms offer controllership, bookkeeping, and consulting services beyond standard tax preparation. These services could be beneficial not just for tax time, but also to meet the strategic and managerial needs of a business throughout the year.
• Know when to say, “I am completely overwhelmed and I have no idea what to do.” To some, this will seem like an admission that will put you at a disadvantage. Chances are that, if you’re overwhelmed, it’ll become apparent during an engagement. Don’t wait until it’s too late to change course.
• Be honest and open in your interactions, even when you think it will expose issues that might warrant further action or incur additional fees to remedy. Not only will that foster trust, it may also keep ongoing problems from getting worse.

Can there be such a thing as a “professional friendship”? In a relationship where professional standards, priorities, and boundaries are well understood, can we also recognize that it’s human and normal to genuinely trust and like each other? If it doesn’t exist, it should. Maybe it exists and we’re afraid to admit it. Either way, in this age of commoditization, having a friend is a good way to navigate complexity and uncertainty.

Alex Pabellón, CPA, CGMA, is a member of the PICPA’s CPA Image Enhancement Committee.