By Dorothy Potash

When I was starting out in my career, I found that I did not have the obvious things in common with most of my clients. First, they were almost all men, and I am a woman. They almost all seemed to love golf; I, well, hate golf. In fact, I purposefully married someone who also hates golf. The only thing I hate more than playing golf is watching golf. This is something else most of my clients all seemed to enjoy.

I wondered how would I ever develop a relationship with any of them.

Making things even trickier, most of the people with whom I met and became clients or referral sources were at a higher level than me professionally. They were far more situated to refer business to me than I could for them. Each appeared to be so confident and sure of their place in the business community. I knew that to prove myself I would have to work harder, create an experience that each client designed themselves, and prove that I was their best advocate. I had to be sure I was available at 3:00 a.m. if things went awry, which always seemed to be the time when things went awry.  

Perhaps I was not yet able to introduce anyone directly to a new client or investor, but through my own networking style I was soon in a position where I could connect any one of them to a new referral source, connector, or friend. And this I did with gusto.  

I also asked an awful lot of questions. Since I accepted that I was never the smartest person in the room, I had no fear about being “exposed.” Thus, I was perfectly content to learn as much as possible by asking as many questions as I could. I had my own vulnerabilities and knowledge gaps, for sure. I may not have known every nuance of a client’s business, but what I really did know quite a bit about was literature.  

As books were a great passion of mine, literature was something I could share with great authenticity and confidence. Is there a better way to connect with someone than through a shared emotional experience told by a master storyteller? Though there were many ways I established connections with my clients over time, my passion as a writer and avid reader was often what I offered up first.

Sometimes this would be met with, “Are you kidding? I have not read anything since college.” That’s OK: for some, reading is their golf. Other times, I would win them over by suggesting an interesting biography, some historical fiction, or a poem that had an interesting take on something they had an interest in. I could feel far more excitement when they would call me to tell me how much they appreciated the book I recommended than I felt when I closed a sale.  

I often would also share and exchange titles with their spouses. On one such occasion, the wife of one of my oldest clients and a good friend, upon our first meeting, asked me who my favorite author was. We made what was not exactly an “even” exchange: She got Possession, a Booker Award winning novel, and I got the hot-on-the-cul-de-sac book Fifty Shades of Gray.

For many of my clients or contacts, the excitement of discovering an unknown treasure from Robert Lowell or a new novel from someone like Donna Tart was unmatched. Sharing them or discussing our interpretations or favorite passages was a “thing” long before Oprah made formal book clubs popular. For 30 years I have been sharing books and poetry with who may have started as clients, but quickly turned into dear friends. Soon, the first words uttered, prior to asking about anything else, would be, “So, whatcha reading?”

I recently got a call from an old client from my old career who reached out to share some sad news. A mutual old friend from a time in our lives when we were young, single, building our careers, and bonding over hard work – and the excitement of sharing fine passages from Robert Frost – had died unexpectedly. It stopped me in my tracks.  

I had not spoken to our old friend for more than two decades, but he was the type of person who would have enthusiastically and bombastically embraced me with such a warmth had I reached out. Alas, I had not. Sometime after he got married and moved firms, we lost touch. Then I got married and had kids. The 50 miles between us seemed like 5,000 miles.  

As a business development coach, I am constantly finding myself urging my clients to pick up the phone. Stay connected or reconnect with old friends, old colleagues, old clients. It is a gift and a joy to hear the voice of an old friend. It is never too late to reconnect with someone with whom you shared the tyranny of your first busy season, the bond of staying up all night for three days straight to get a deal closed, or the shared achievement and torture of getting through William Faulkner’s Absalom, Absalom! One day, you may lose the chance forever, and that is a terrible loss. So today, when you finish reading this blog’s last sentence, I urge you to pick up the phone, and reach out to someone whom you haven’t spoken to in a long time. You won’t be sorry.

Dorothy Potash is the president and co-founder of Development Dynamx in Radnor, Pa. She can be reached at dorothy@developmentdynamx.com.

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Statements of fact and opinion are the authors’ responsibility alone and do not imply an opinion on the part of the PICPA's officers or members. The information contained herein does not constitute accounting, legal, or professional advice. For actionable advice, you must engage or consult with a qualified professional.